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Journeying into the unknown

I had had the idea to live abroad for a while, so one day I took a plane, arrived to another country, and started to live there. It is so simple. If you would like, you can do it too! There are some stages in between of course, and that’s where I start telling my story with more details.

To go, or not to go. That is the question…

Attraction of the unknown

Before my journey began many of my friends had already lived abroad, everybody came back with experiences, gumption, and fluency in a foreign language of course. This way of living was waiting to become a reality for me, I had spent only my holidays out of the Hungarian border. However, on a friendly visit abroad the winds of intercultural diversity finally blew my way. My friend, Zoli had lived in England and worked at a relatively big pub, where we had the opportunity to taste a few excellent English beers, plus I got to taste the IPA’s smooth taste then, that I have continued to test till now, in service to the precious beer society. But… to return to the story, the “beer tasting” continued after closing so that Zoli’s colleagues could join in as well. In the end, the event turned into a joyful, international chat party, where Italian, Hungarian, Spanish and Swedish lips formed English words. The diverse company was a new and exciting experience for me, and reflecting back, I feel that we were youngsters with different cultures, but similar challenges in our lives. it was in that  moment that I started to feel that I wanted more of these  kinds of experiences, and eventually even create a lifestyle where I could try myself out, that would also help me understand different cultures and contexts in the long run as well.

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No family close to 30

 With my little cousin

I was 27 years old when the passion for the long outward journey found me, which  is not so bad, but I knew that I would be 29 when I would finish it. Ooh, that age is quite close to 30, and on the top of that being a “family friendly person” I imagined financial security, family and children by  that age, after all, it is probably easier to tolerate  the extreme moods of a child when you are younger. In addition,  traditional values were ingrained in me, for example, my parents were under 24 by which time both me and my sister were born. If I were to continue with my planned journey, these things would have to happen later. But is it possible to plan these things at all? Fortunately, I started to get rid of the pressure of ageing. For example, my colleagues currently live their lives happily without children after the age of 30, and  I have certainly encountered some howling children as well, that awakened the questioner inside me. Does age really matter in the case of starting a family, or should you wait till you feel ready for it? I came to an understanding with myself with an answer, it doesn’t matter.

Emotional bonds

What is more, my relationship had just ended at that time too, so there was nothing that would have held me back tautly to my beautiful country. A change in environment is even better for a healing heart. My dear family and friends can live without me for a while, fortunately, distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Goal and intrinsic motivation for the changeover

My then workplace was not so bad, colleagues were nice and cool, company car was under my bottom, the salary provided financial safety and there were a few interesting tasks as well, all the same, I was not satisfied. Money making as a goal is just not satisfying for me at all, I need the spark of enthusiasm which starts up my rockets. According to my parents, safe employment has to be appreciated, which though is understandable from their side (because in the old times self-realization was not so supported in Hungary), finding a secure job was challenging in itself. But nowadays watching success stories and motivational videos over the internet, it is easy to believe in the fruitful results of passionate work, even if it requires more energy investment in the initial period. This happened to me as well, I got a feel for enthusiasm and started to explore the possibilities just as gold miners looked for gold under the rugged surface in the age of “gold fever”. I went to learn at the !genshool, a Hungarian startup and social innovator school, I was a member of the Hungarian Toastmaster club, visited entrepreneurship events, meetups, watched TED talks, one after the other. I have learnt about presentation, validation, personal branding, gamification and I could go on. But what was the most important was that I got to know many self-realizing mates, who help each other with and keep in contact up to this day too.
We know that human relations are priceless, for everything else, there’s that particular credit card. But the piggy bank behind the pretty plastic card has to be loaded sometimes, that’s why I also checked the labour market, with the hope that I might find the job of my life with my new precious knowledge. But unfortunately, the taunting English language was a basic requirement for all the exciting jobs and even more important for an own startup business. In my childhood, I had learnt German as a foreign language, and although I later went to language schools and private English lessons, I hadn’t had the need to use it in real life, and so I couldn’t communicate confidently. A stammer does not equal to speaking English on a business level, so no more excuses, and so I decided that I must learn to speak fluently, and the most intensive way is to spend at least one year in an English speaking country.

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Warm-up for the big throw

In my childhood, we worked a lot on our little farm: fed the cows every day, milked them, collected hay from the meadows, weeded the garden, chopped trees in the forest, gathered corn and put it from the trailer into bags, and many times we even became bronze from the sun  picking elderberry too. The closeness of nature and animals has its own romanticism when you breathe in the smell of the drying hay in the meadow, listen to wild chirping crickets’ acapella or when the moo-cow licks into your palm. In everyday life, I’ve learnt to appreciate work, trustworthiness and have became thankful to Mother Earth for feeding me via plants and animals. But looking back to this period I understood one more thing too… work has to be held in check, the methods with blood and sweat don’t make us happy. They take time away from our personal recreation, we burn out and become an intolerable person.

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This led me to try learning smart and efficient solutions at a personal level too and for this I am not afraid of trying out new methods either. Thus, I stumbled upon a book called “The secret – the law of attraction”, and I started becoming interested in this “power of mind” thing. It is quite far from the material worldview which was taught to me at home and in the school, but I don’t care about these barriers at all- if I sniff a new and useful method somewhere, the least I can do is find out more details. That’s why a little bit later I went to the Hungarian “mind control training” and the first surprise was that the training had many participants. During these days, I got trustworthy explanations about the way the method works. After the training my next step was to apply the learnt techniques in my daily routine, so I stopped using self-limiting words and sayings: like instead of “difficulty” I use the word “challenge”, or I changed “the problem is”, “it is not possible” to “how can I solve it” expressions. simultaneously, I practiced daily visualisation, which means in the mornings I imagined myself reaching my goals in a relaxed state for a duration of 5 minutes, and I was glad to see them in front of my eyes.
Yes, but life is not just about us and reaching our goals alone, but rather about our relations with other people too. Moreover, it might just be that human relations are the meaning of everything (but that’s philosophy). I have also observed, that malfunctioning relations take away PLENTY of time and energy, independent of the type: friend, family or love bonds. If there is some problem, I cannot think of anything else, my brain is continuously working, I assume, expect, misunderstand and just go deeper towards an emotional sinkhole. Therefore, I have decided to change this, because as a handyman I know that if something goes wrong then it is possible to fix it. So, I found a book called ‘Eckhart Tolle: The New Earth’, which I can describe as the user manual for human beings, it helped me a lot with understanding people and my relationship with them. The first time, when I had it in my hand was in 2012, but after the first few pages it seemed like a brainwashing, sect book, so I stopped reading. One year later, however, one of my friends suggested it for solving problems in love relationships, which was a concern for me at that time. It is not an easy-read, but it made clear a lot of things not only in the area of relationships but generally from the point of human relations as well. I understood that my relations didn’t need to be fixed but I had to change my attitude towards other people and accept the fact (without any judgment) that every act has a reason that is also shaped by environmental factors. Of course, I haven’t become Buddha after reading the book, but thanks to continuous learning I can live my human relations with more and more understanding, love and thereby more efficiently and without suffering.

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With all of these thoughts, I think I stepped onto the path of mindfulness as well, where the next station was the Hungarian “ConsciousnessBase” (web page of consciousness people and information), where I found more and more “love and life efficiency” readings and informative videos. Amongst these materials were the 4th Dimension self-improvement Open University’s thoughts, which drew attention to the importance of our responsibility for our own lives and with it, to unlimited possibilities. I liked them so much that I went to their course at the university, and looking back, that was the last push towards my life-changing decision. At first, the atmosphere of training was a little bit unusual after the fancy company events that I was used to attending, but the message found me in such a way that I couldn’t miss even a single  word, my attention was totally captivated. It strengthened my own experiences and insights and put them in an easily understandable and logical structure at both an individual and social level. I felt strengthened in the feeling that if I don’t agree with something then I plainly don’t participate in it and arrange an alternative solution which fits perfectly for me.

What did this mean for me in specific terms? Introspection, lists, goal visualisation and many exciting moments. But I don’t go too far this time, you’ll surely find out more in the next blog post!

So, until then I say goodbye with a nicely drawn video about how we can  realize our dreams. I am also in the process but based on my experiences so far I truly think it is possible to achieve. My question for today is, do you dare to dream?